Thursday, June 28, 2012

My Fifth Novel, She Is Written

Theme Quote Of The Day:
It is better to write a bad first draft than to write no first draft at all.
Will Shetterly

I did a Great Big Thing today: I wrote "THE END" at the bottom of a page, and suddenly, all those words, those little strokes across that page, became a novel.

I have forbidden myself from writing until 24 hours stood between that final moment and me. I already feel quite crazed enough, and more than that, the rough draft is shit.

I love the story, the characters, this brand new world, but the approximately 45,900 words are not the best words, and it's a big hot mess in a LOT of places. I knew each of those Big Fuck Ups were coming long before they did, because I have three "completed" novels under my belt, and I always lose my way somewhere in the middle, and rush the ending, unsure of what the fuck is happening because the rest of the story isn't as cohesive a whole as it should be.

And that's okay. You pay up at the beginning, or at the end. I wrote my first novel in four months when I was 16, my second in one when I was 19, my third in two when I was 20, and now, at 21, I took 10 days to end up with this blob.

That means I have a lot of fucking time open up to me; to read and reread; organize, polish, rearrange, gut and completely rework. That means I have a lot of Great Amazing Things ahead of me, and I'm proud of the mess, because it's an accomplishment not many people get to feel.

And I know it will be better, and soon. 22 hours 39 minutes from now, I will start the next step in a long and rewarding process, and I will make a novel out of this handwritten mess of a notebook.

And at some point, it will be allowed to have a name all its own.

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